Ever have one of “those” days, weeks, months or dare I say years? Did you ever sit and say “why me?” I know I have, in fact in many ways that was shown to me by my dad. I can remember many times over hearing those two words to the point I started saying them! Lets switch up a little, maybe you have said, “just when things were turning around / getting better and then this happened.” AND “I will never get out of this mess, situation, debt, etc.”

Something I realized early as an adult – take responsibility for MY ACTIONS! Yes I put that in capital letters, I want that to be seen. All of the why me’s, I never’s, etc. weren’t randomly happening to me. I was CHOOSING them!

What do I mean? Everything you and I do has a consequence – positive or negative. Everything you and I do has an effect on us, our families, our lives, our situations.

Still not clear? Here are some examples: You have $2500 on credit card and you are still spending and only paying the monthly minimum, every month that bill comes in you look at it and just cant figure out why its going up. YOU are still spending, YOU are choosing to increase that bill. Your car needs $500 in work, you don’t have the money to fix it and yet you are out with your buddies for drinks and food, spending the money you should be putting towards the repair. Your marriage isn’t all that great because you would rather spend time watching tv, playing video games and hanging with your friends instead of spending time with your spouse. YOU are CHOOSING to ignore them and cause frustrations, anger, resentment. Its not about telling them to go find something to do too, its about YOU stopping your choices and show your spouse some much needed love.

A few more examples: Why me, why do I keep losing my job, losing my girlfriend  / boyfriend why cant I catch a break? Why I am so bored, lonely, ugly, etc.? Why don’t I have any friends and why doesn’t anyone love me?

Do you love yourself? Are you being nice to others, not needy, but nice? Are you working hard or hardly working?

Why me? Why am I overweight and whose fault is this? Its mine (my own story to be shared in the future) it’s your fault the way you look, sound, act, etc.

All of these situations / examples deal with either positive self view and self talk or a negative one. All of these deal with YOU or I making choices that do impact us, but we dont want to accept that its our own fault.

How do you grow a rose or oak tree? You plant it, you water it, you watch over it, you feed it,  prune it when needed, etc. How do you grow weeds? Seriously, how do you grow weeds? You may not necessarily plant them, but they do get watered and fed naturally and if you do nothing about them , they will continue to grow and grow and spread and so forth.

Our thoughts are the same way. Have a “poor me” attitude and continuously feed and water that with negatives and those “weeds” will grow. They will grow so much and take over so much that everything you say, do and act like will be draining, unfriendly, sad and you become that weed. And lets face it, no one really likes weeds in their lawn. Well your circle of friends is like that lawn and your friends may not want what you have become as its just a big drag to hang around you.

But, if you start having a positive attitude, accepting that things are happening at your choosing and that you have a fairly large outcome in the control over your choices, you will begin to be something / someone exciting and fun to hang around. You start watering / feeding  yourself positive self talk, you will be different, in fact if you do enough watering of self positive talk, others will have a desire to pour into you as well. You will become like a beautiful rose or oak tree – strong, colorful and tall. You will be seen as a positive influence, you will do great things.

Do you want to be a weed? Keep on watering and feeding yourself with the negative junk.

Do you want to be a rose or an oak tree? Water and feed yourself with positive talk, ideas, reading and listening to positive stuff.

STOP watering the Weeds…..