I was spending time with a good friend recently and he asked me why I was so tired looking. I laughed and simply said “ministry.” His reply was “can’t be that hard” I had to let that sink in for a bit and even repeated those 4 words – can’t be that hard. Then he added my favorite – you only work on Sunday. I just couldn’t believe he said those things, I mean after all does he have any idea what I have been going through?

Ministry is not all sunshine, rainbows and puppies!!

I asked him what he thought I did in my role as an executive pastor. He laughed, “I guess pray for people and talk about God.” Yes, and yes, but what about everything else I must balance and do – paying bills, counseling, studying the bible, praying for people, praying for staff, trying to lead staff, discipling others, answering phone calls and emails. Plus, the expected meetings and unexpected meetings and…. that list could grow, but I will stop there.

Where did you get this idea of ministry? I asked my friend. He said – “tv.” TV!!! I was a little excited and loud, so I asked him to name a show or actor – which led to us coming up with this list (I am sure we have missed some)

7^th heaven, Good news, Amen, The Soul Man, Rev, The Vicar of Dibley, Bing Crosby, Gregory Peck Whoopi Goldberg, Dan Ackroyd, Spencer Tracy, Father Brown Mysteries Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn and Julie Andrews, Soul Man

Sure, let’s base ministry off of tv shows and or actors! Let’s see Bing Crosby takes over a church from an older priest where poverty is all around the community but love conquers all. Gregory Peck helps boys in boy’s town become men. Dan Aykroyd deals with family and friends in Soul Man and Whoopi Goldberg “becomes” a nun to help some sisters and kids with school and choir. 7^th Heaven, even though it did take on some of the harder real things in life was still “sweet and unreal.” 

But sure, my ministry is just like that on TV and I am never exhausted, tired, angry, etc. Everyone I am in contact with is great, perfect, loving, respectful and friendly.

What is the word for “puke!?” Oh yeah – puke! LIES, all of it LIES!

One thing that I have come to believe 100% – do not enter ministry – unless you know God is calling you to do so. Many people would not survive this! Yes, I realize that sounds harsh, but this is my moment and time of truth. It is where I am. I am deep in the mire and mud of it all and if God hadn’t called me to this, I would have been fired by now. I would have said things, called people out, etc. but I haven’t done this. I choose a different route of attempting to love, trying to understand and pray, but sadly that means I hold a lot in – which is unhealthy!

Let me get straight to the point of why I am where I am and why I feel what I feel. Just because someone calls them self a “Christian” doesn’t mean they really are one, or at least a mature one. But then even the mature ones – cause frustration and pain as well. I have learned after being involved in ministry for over 25 years now that Christians can be very unkind to each other. There seems to be this invisible field that surrounds them – it’s a field of expectation of forgiveness and grace, yet the reciprocal rate of these things appears to be small in some church bodies – which causes people like me to become jaded, frustrated, angry, depressed and deeply wounded.

What makes it worse, is that many times the offender honestly believes they are speaking for the church, the poor, the other person – yet the reality is they are speaking for themselves in a veiled way. They want to be heard, they speak in the name of their friend, yet they just want to be the louder voice. Sadly, that louder voice will at times get the attention and sometimes something done, that really shouldn’t be. YET, it is BIGGER than the little I have shared – here are some stats…

It’s true that some pastors fall into temptation and yet others simply feel it’s their time to call it quits. But often it goes much deeper than that. And the stats reveal much.

Most pastors are overworked.

• 90% of pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week and 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
• And 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

Most pastors feel unprepared.

• 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands and 90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.

Many pastors struggle with depression and discouragement.

• 70% of pastors constantly fight depression and 50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
• Wait, this is huge. Let’s pause here for a moment.
• This means that half of the 1,700 or so pastors who leave the ministry each month have no other way of making a living. Their education and experience are wrapped up solely in the work of the ministry.
• So, not only do pastors struggle with their choice to leave ministry, they have to worry about how they are going to feed their families.

Speaking of families, most pastor’s families are negatively impacted.

• 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. 80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked and feel left out and under-appreciated by church members.

Many pastors are lonely.

• 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend and 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.

And then there is this:

• 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years. 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form. And 4,000 new churches begin each year while 7,000 churches close.
• The statistics speak for themselves. Working in ministry – whether you’re a full-time pastor or a lay minister balancing a job and a church – can be challenging. Families suffer, discouragement and depression – amongst a gamut of other things – runs like a river in the lives of those who sacrifice their own life to the cause of the church.

Depression, frustration, money, people, debt, unrealistic expectations, temptations around many corners, loneliness and for some – taking their own lives to escape it all. Ministry can simply be – rough! But again, knowing I am called to it, doesn’t make it easier, but it does help me keep my focus on Him.

Here is a link to a very short article sharing 5 reasons why pastor leave the ministry. I came across this when looking for information on how to help pastors. It’s quick and clear!

https://www.biblicalleadership.com/blogs/5-reasons-why-pastors-leave-the-ministry/

To be fair though – something I haven’t shared yet: I LOVE my role in ministry as an Executive Pastor. I love being a ministry coach, marriage counselor, life coach and pastoral care coach! But, I have no doubt a calling on my life to do what I do. So in my next blog – I will share about the positives of being in ministry. Until then…

Thanks for stopping by the fire,

Pastor Dennis