October 16, 2024, I woke to find my lawn covered in frost. It’s a gentle reminder of the new season. Summer has departed, and my favorite season, autumn, has arrived. I am grateful for the four distinct seasons we experience here in southern Illinois. Sometimes it feels like we experience them all within a couple of months, but I am thankful nonetheless.

Speaking of gratitude, October and November are often referred to as the “thankful” months. October is clergy appreciation month, and in November, many people take to social media to share daily expressions of gratitude. This tradition likely stems from the national holiday of Thanksgiving. At least five countries celebrate this holiday, and while Americans trace it back to 1619, President Abraham Lincoln declared it a national holiday in 1863.

Christian Scriptures provide many examples of being thankful: Ephesians 5:20 says “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 encourages us to “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” And Philippians 4:6 advises, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

When it comes to expressing gratitude, how often do we do it? Do we ever consider being the first one to say thank you? “If you are truly a thankful person, thanking others before they thank you can feel rewarding. It allows you to express your gratitude in a creative way and often brings joy to both parties.”

Before I forget, thank you for reading, sharing, comments and your emails; all are appreciated and all of you are appreciated as well!

Thanks for stopping by the fire,

Coach Dennis

Below is the most recent blog entry from Admired Leadership  titled

“Beating Others to Thank you”

We like thankful people. And we like to be around them. Thankfulness acknowledges the contributions of others and underlines the importance of relationships; people extend themselves to thankful people.

Frequently offering thanks makes others feel valued and respected. As an added bonus, the positive energy thankful people exude is both uplifting and contagious. It’s no wonder thankful people draw others to them and form deeper connections.

Becoming more thankful, as a person and as a leader, is essential work if building deeper and more meaningful relationships matters. This begins with leaders making it a point to express sincere thanks and appreciation more often.

Learning to take the time to pause and acknowledge others, especially to thank them for their contribution, insight, or support, is a relationship game-changer. The key is to make a habit of expressing appreciation and thanks whenever it is warranted.

Those highly skilled at expressing appreciation and who recognize the magic of thankfulness have one more secret to share. They have learned there is a strength in thanking others before they themselves get the chance to be thanked. In many circumstances, leaders engage in activities for which they should receive thanks from others.

Instead of waiting for those thanks, those most skillful at relationships understand the connective power of beating them to the punch. When we thank others for what they are ready to thank us for, we elevate thankfulness to an entirely new level, one that binds people to us.

For instance, say you have been asked to deliver a presentation to a colleague’s team and hit it out of the park for them. Soon after the presentation, they will likely want to express their sincere appreciation for you taking the time and doing such a great job.

But those most skilled at relationships will do everything they can to beat them to it. They might thank them for the invitation to address the team, their confidence in asking them, their support for making it easy and seamless, or for the clarity in thinking that the request created.

Thanking people for very things they would likely thank us for changes the script. It catches people off guard and shows them what a truly thankful person you are.

While it must be sincere, thanking others before they thank you represents a shift in what it means to be thankful. There is always a reason to be appreciative, grateful, or thankful, and those great at relationships find it.

If you are truly a thankful person, thanking people before they thank you will feel good. It will allow you to express your inner gratefulness in a more creative way. It won’t take you long to think about what thanks you could give before you receive the recognition from someone else.

Make it a habit to thank people for what they are likely going to thank you for and beat them to it. You might find it deepens an already ardent relationship. Better yet, it might remind you about the critical role thankfulness plays in the best relationships.